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Stories from the Pinoy Raconteur
Super-short shorties pulped to the core. In response to the challenge of intertextual velocity.



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The Write Challenge

Studies reveal internet readers don’t actually read word for word, they only skim through a page picking up words here and there like a busy shopper always willing to give up a grocery list for something better or new.

Let’s say you are a raconteur of note. How does the finding affect you?


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The Secret World's Greatest Pianist


“Magnifico!”

He closes his eyes, pushes back his chair, and stands to face the audience whose faces are all aglow from the after-notes of his concertos.

At the next concert, he will be Chopin. Smiling he clutches close to his chest a broken toy-piano.

But tonight he is raving hungry.




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Showgirls the Morning After

“You can’t build stardom on online video…One must be a Beyonce, Cher and Rosie in one live showstopper.”

“?!”

“In my time, honey, we didn’t do youtube to be famous. We weren’t even on anything to be real.”

“Can I borrow your stilleto, now, Edilberto?! ”

“Pardon?! Tina Turner, okay?!”

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The Leveling Doctrine

This then is how Melinda wants to be a part of the high-profile set; a delicate plan replete with the elements of paperback romance.

Her heart skips just looking at him, the oldest bachelor wheeling about in a chair.

“To the kitchen!”

That’s the party hostess hissing in her ears.

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The Tryst

[This is the first of a series of 50-worders. Excluding title, each piece precisely contains fifty words I call 'nifty-fifty'].

One muggy afternoon, a bead of sweat rolls down Michael’s brow. His free hand gropes in the dark.

“Gregory, let me stay a while longer.”

“I’d love to but, she’s…”

“Alright….”

The door closes. Marlene’s footsteps click-clack down the hallway.

Inside the closet, Michael wipes his face with Gregory’s underwear.

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The Old Woman on a Park Bench

The sun wistfully blinks before setting down to that side of the world. A cold draft sends shivers through the foliage.

Onto the other end of her bench, a frog leaps.

“Is that you?”

“Beat it, Lady! Prince Charming is so medieval!”

“Chill out! I’m talking to Beckham. Here kitty…”


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Degrees of Decadence

Foreword: This is an experimental 750-word fiction triptych. It could stand solid as one piece composed of three stand-alone 250-word anecdotes all around a unifying theme.

Development idea: Structurally based on the rudiments of haiku, this is a weaving of story over poetry over story.

Telling challenge: Lure the reader into a big story universe with three sub-genres, and let them experience three sub-worlds, as they were.


House Centennial

From a lamppost across the street, it bears telltale signs of a slow yet progressive form of ruination that seems to emanate from within – limestone walls flaking off in large chunks, roof-tiles falling off the ground with tufts of grass, and a giant iron gate bulging out to the street as if coerced from the inside.

The Blanche Manor has been surveyed for restoration and archived by the City Historical Landmarks Preservation Council as one of the only three Centennial Houses still in-tact after the two wars, in time for the incoming nth anniversary celebration of the city.

Richard opens the window. Just a small crack, that’s all he needs to know if traffic is building up this side of the street. His cellphone rings.

“Yup, got the invite, sweetie.”

Today, if all else fails, he will try the new trick he learned from the book, “All-New Kamasutra Menu for the Millenial Man” which he ordered online.

“I’m all set alright…wait, let me check…two-oh-seven-three, Sunset Drive…alright, see you later, sweet…” He winks at himself in the mirror before he rushes down the stairs.

Outside, a cab screeches to a halt by the gate then zooms swiftly away.

Inside, the house instantly hums back to life with the usual airy sighs and whispers of despair.

On the nightstand where Richard had picked up his mobile phone, an invitation card flips open by a sudden blast of air. Sparkling in ornate gilded script, “Invitation To: David Blanche, Honourable City Mayor and Family”.

Legend of the Hollow Tree

No life will pass unaltered
with the embrace of this beast
hungry prehensile tendrils
stifling every breath, angels
or faeries and wood nymphs, not even
your intelligent high-tech mortals
can wield a power more powerful
than its deadly roots and vines. A kiss
of perdition blossoms with every bud
or leaf crawling inch by inch.

The National Geographic channel had ran a special documentary about an endangered species of hardwood only the natural world is to blame: a parasitic kind of self-rooting strangler fig that derives nourishment from its host tree.

Like a boa constrictor that stranglers its prey, the strangler fig can do the same only a lot slower. It allows itself to grow with the host tree while slowly wrapping itself around the growing trunk with its gnarled vines, eventually depriving it of the much needed light, air and space to grow.

What is left is a chilling paradigm of parasitism: a tree, or in this case, a dead hardwood crumbling to the ground with its second death by termites leaving a hollow trunk inside what looks like a giant tree whose bark is made of the strangler fig’s intertwining roots and vines.

After the war, among the many priceless pieces of furniture taken from the Blanche Manor and hauled into the new Museum of History was a nightstand. It was catalogued as manufactured from a rare kind of wood deep from the jungles in the heart of Asia, where Mayor Blanche met Richard during an expedition grant.

The Hobo

He huddles up against the cold wall. Lurching now at a drowsy angle, his shadow melds with the developing darkness. Already to the west, the sun is sliding slowly away into some nether world.
Across the street, a streetlamp flickers to life. His face lightens up. Tonight he will try again.

A stray cat sashays toward a heap of garbage in the corner. A rat bulks. A speeding car looms up the curb.

He raises his hands against the burgeoning headlight. Compelled by some force of unshakable habit, he starts counting his fingers. Suddenly, out of the dark, a cat scrambles into sight.

Distracted, he is back to one.

The city heaves under the hideous glow of the hazy moon.

Those merciless, blinding lights from the vehicles : they remind him of those mercurial, ambitious and lustful eyes…Behind a spotlessly polished redwood office table, his phone rings.

“A Richard is here Sir.”

“Show him in…”

He bends down to unplug the phone, pull down the blinds, then the drawer to fish out a small bottle of Drakkar Noir. Ah, the scent of black…and this sordid affair with fevered anticipation…

“You may go now, Sandra. See you tonight at The Ball. Make sure to advise the vice mayor to start right away if I’m not in on the dot.”

Tonight, after taking a sponge bath from the puddle in an uncovered pothole, he will try to call his friends again using the cellphone he had picked up from the damp site.



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